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PASTORAL COMMENTARY
Rev'd Fr. G. Kingsley Knowles
Rector
Let the Falling out of friends be the Renewing of friendship.
Matthew chapter 18:15-20.
In this portion of scripture Christ having cautioned his disciples not to give offence, comes next to direct them as to what they must do in the case of offences given to them.
In many ways this is one of the most difficult passages to interpret in the whole of St. Matthew’s Gospel. Its difficulty lies in the undoubted fact that: IT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE JESUS AND IT JUST DOES NOT RING AS BEING TRUE. It sounds more like the regulations of an ecclesiastical committee.
We may go further. It is not possible that Jesus said this in the present form. There was no church at the time, so Jesus could not have told the disciples to take things to the church. The passage implies a fully developed and organized church with a system of ecclesiastical discipline. What is more it speaks of tax collectors and gentiles as irreclaimable outsiders. Yet Jesus was accused of being the friend of tax collectors and sinners. Jesus never spoke of them as hopeless outsiders, but always with sympathy and love and even praise (Matt. 9:10) as he sat with them at dinner, many came to him and were healed by him. This was his way to relate to people and to restore them to the kingdom.
This is what Jesus recommends in case of offences;
Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. Do not let your resentment ripen into secret malice (like a wound, which is most dangerous when it bleeds inwardly), but give vent to them in a mild and grave admonition. It is always best to express one self in a calm and secret manner first.
Secondly if that cannot work then it may be necessary to bring some trusted persons together as witnesses and also to reason the case further…. So that there could be no misunderstanding
Thirdly if he is not prepared to use that method then the next step would be to take it to the church. The church, must be seen as the body of Christ, of which all baptized persons are members. These are persons who believe in reconciliation and who would be objective and always present the Christian perspective. All of these steps being followed, if no just solution occurs then commitment to prayers will be the finals step and wait on the Lord. It is our hope that in the fullness of time something will break. We are not to force the issue. There should be no revenge remember vengeance is mine says the lord I will repay.
Coming together and stating one’s case is the Christian way. The burden of proof should never be on the committed Christian. If a person refuses the hand of fellowship in the interest of the body of Christ then, that person has forfeited the opportunity to bring about peace. Remember this too, keep the doors of hope for reconciliation open because we are not perfect and we all need the compassion of the lord some day. Our intention is not to violate relationship with God. When we close the door we are indicating that there in not any hope or that we have given up on relationship with that individual. We are called to have a relationship with God and a relationship with others. God’s will is expressed, so far as human existence is concerned, in establishing; improving; and crowning human dignity as a person made in the image of God. This hope of restoration is demonstrated in the parable of the lost son. In this story, the Father although he knew that the son will self-destruct He did not close the door in fact His door remained open. We, as followers of Jesus, can do no less than what he exemplified, if we claim discipleship. Jesus, the God man spoke the truth and at the same time was there with compassion to help those who were like sheep without a shepherd. He set His standards however and lost some of His disciples in the process, those who were impatient were unable to enter the kingdom. But those who endured to the end developed an everlasting friendship.
Jesus ate with Publican and sinners to introduce them to the kingdom. Some would conform and others would not. .What is important to note is the fact that He made himself available, and took the initiative. We demonstrate Christian maturity when we make the first step and also find another way to look at a bad situation. This is the demonstration of Faith .Faith is another way of seeing. I pray today that as Christians we would see the need to stand up for what is right even if it means loosing our friends. In today’s world we are faced with many challenges but the gospel message and the living out of that message remains the same. We must not compromise the Word of God but find an effective way to make it real to those who have difficulty in understanding or accepting it. Let us ensure that when we fall out with our friends it is for the good of any relationship and as long as we are sincere in the end a renewed relationship will develop because any thing done for Christ will last. One day we will come to our senses or the other person will come to his or her senses and a renewed relationship will emerge. So when challenges occur in your relationship with others do not hesitate to use the steps mentioned above. Do not disassociate or disc those who seem to be on the fringes, instead go to them introduce Christ from the Christian perspective and wait for God to give the increase.
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